A Knife! No!
by UnluckiestFridays
Summary: Thirteen drabbles based around the Thirteenth Doctor and her companions, based on Vines, fanart, and more.
1. Chapter One

**A Knife! No!**

_A whole bunch of humour drabbles based on vines, fanart, and more. Enjoy._

The Doctor ran through the console room, heading in the direction of the opposing corridor.

"What have you got?" Graham demanded when he spotted something that wasn't her sonic in her hands.

"A knife!" She shouted, still running.

"No!" Graham yelled, alarmed, as he ran after her.


	2. Chapter Two

**A Knife! No!**

The TARDIS phone rang and with no one else around, Ryan picked it up.

"Hello?" He answered.

"We have your child," an intimidating voice on the other side of the line said.

"I don't have a child?" Ryan replied.

"Then who just asked me for warm milk and custard creams?" The voice asked, slightly confused.

"Oh, my God. You have the Doctor," Ryan gasped in realisation.


	3. Chapter Three

**A Knife! No!**

The Doctor looked around at her companions. Something was on her mind and it was bothering her. Her companions needed to know.

"Uh, fam?" She prompted, causing her friends to turn around. "I just want you all to know, if I ever act dumb, I'm joking. I'm one hundred percent smart and know literally everything."


	4. Chapter Four

**A Knife! No!**

A security guard stood in front of Ryan, Yaz, and the Doctor. They were thoroughly unimpressed and keeping an eye on the three trouble makers.

The Doctor leaned to her companions, trying to be discreet. "We need an adult," she pointed out.

Yaz turned to her, annoyed, "you're the adult!"

"We need another, adultier adult," the Doctor retorted.

With a sigh, Ryan spoke, "I didn't want to say this, but someone please call Graham."


	5. Chapter Five

**A Knife! No!**

Flower still in her hair, no coat on, and a rope in her hands, the Doctor stared wide-eyed at her wife.

"I'm tellin' you," she said, "we need to re-do it. With the rope, too!"

River put a hand to her mouth, stifling her laugh, "you callled me to propose again?"

"Yes!" The Doctor nodded, "I mean, hello too," she realised. "It's an important thing in Yaz's family, River... Look, I've still got the flower!" She pointed to the yellow flower bud in her hair.

"You look lovely, sweetie. Two-hundred and forty-seventh wedding it is, then," River relented with a warm heart.


	6. Chapter Six

**A Knife! No!**

The Doctor grinned widely and handed her her long coat over to her tenth regeneration. In turn, he gave her his brown trench coat. She quickly shrugged it on whilst he did the same, and then they both ran over to a window to check out their reflection.

"Brilliant," they said at the same time.


	7. Chapter Seven

**A Knife! No!**

The Twelfth Doctor stood tall in front of the Thirteenth Doctor. His gloved hand reached into his innercoat pocket and he pulled it out to reveal a silver spoon.

"I've got a spoon," he informed.

Thirteen rose an eyebrow. She rummaged in her trouser pocket and revealed a sonic screwdriver.

"I've got a sonic screwdriver made of spoons," she told him.


	8. Chapter Eight

**A Knife! No!**

Team TARDIS sat in the library. The Doctor was lounging on her favourite high-backed armchair and her fam were spread out reading books they'd chosen.

"Hey," Ryan said, a thoughtful expression crossing his face, "what's it called when you have friends but you're still lonely?"

"Time Lord," the Doctor answered, not looking up from her own book. Her friends looked at her.

"Uh, Doc, you okay?" Graham asked.


	9. Chapter Nine

**A Knife! No!**

Ryan ran behind the Doctor, things exploding in his and the other's wake. Honestly, it was like they couldn't go anywhere without someone knowing the Doctor and immediately attempting to kill her. He dreaded to know what she'd done this time.

Something exploded nearby, making him jump.

"This is insane!" He declared, successfully stepping over some debris.

"You call it insane, I call it Tuesday," the Doctor called back to him and led the way around another corner.

From behind him, Ryan could hear Raham make a noise of protest. "It's Thursday," his granddad pointed out to the Doctor.


	10. Chapter Ten

**A Knife! No!**

With a satisfied grin, the Doctor put the empty doughnut packet in the bin then wiped her hands off on her shirt. She went back to join Graham and Ryan at the table.

"Has anyone seen the doughnuts?" Yaz asked, walking into the kitchen.

The Doctor brushed sugar off her nose. Ryan wiped at the corner of his mouth.

"No, sorry," the Doctor told her, sharing a look with Ryan.

"Yeah, me neither," Ryan said.

Graham shook his head almost fondly. "Kids," he sighed.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**A Knife! No!**

Putting a hand to the small of his back, Graham groaned.

"My back is killing me," he stated to no one in particular.

"Graham, my entire existance is killing me," the Doctor said, piloting the TARDIS.

He stared at her.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**A Knife! No!**

So, Ryan was having a bad day. He'd been practicing his bike riding in Sheffield most of the day, but he hadn't made any progress. Then, he'd burned his thumb trying to cook pasta. And his favourite show had rescheduled its episode for the next day, and he'd been waiting to watch it ever since he started travelling with the Doctor.

His point... he wanted a hug.

Determinedly, he shuffled up to Graham who was making a cup of tea in the kitchen.

"Graham, can I have a hug?" He asked.

If his granddad was suprised by his question, he didn't show it. He nodded. "Of course."

Ryan put his arms out to hug him, but in the process he knocked over Graham's half-made cup of tea.

He started crying.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**A Knife! No!**

The Doctor and her fam stood intimidatingly in front of the spider that had somehow appeared on the TARDIS.

Ryan, Graham, and the Doctor were all for killing the little imposter, but Yaz had other ideas.

"You should treat spiders how you want to be treated," Yaz told the others.

"Killed without hesitation," the Doctor said seriously with a final nod of her head.

"Doc, are you okay?" Graham asked.


End file.
